My Dislikes (part one)

When your teeth collide when kissing.
Putting on fresh socks after showering and stepping in a small puddle of water.
The fact that I feel embarrassed to have a loud poo in public toilets when I know I’m in ear shot.
I hate the way I mutter to myself when I disapprove.
Yapping small dogs.
Walking into a cobwebs.
People eating loudly at cinemas.
Spitting and flem wretchers.
When you blow your nose and the tissue in way too thin.
Bad tin openers.
Biting off the bit of skin by my fingernail , which gives me two seconds of pleasure followed by two days of irritating discomfort.
Hand shake confusion.
When closing your eyes and a little piece of dirt/hair follows your gaze.
Dripping taps.
Counting how many times I stir a cup.
Remembering my dreams then almost instantly forgetting them.
Squeaky shoes.
When my mind goes blank on the web when I could search for anything.
Flushing the loo before going and turning on the light when I leave a room.
Looking for something in the house and picking up irrelevant objects as you look.
The feeling of sunglasses resting on your head when they’re not there.
Millionaire footballers diving on the pitch.
The smell of the gas trapped in-between the egg and meat section of a scotch egg when you bit into it.
Geese.
Packages that you can’t open.
A mosy you can’t kill and flys around the room teasing you.
The dentist’s drill.
Reality and talent shows on the telly.
Jarvis Cocker’s voice on 6 music.
Cold, wet days.
Bullies.
Marzipan